Bean Bags

There's so many different things called bean bags, you get the professional type huge bean bags that cost about £100 each then the more affordable sort that you'd have when you were a kid and you'd always jump on it till it'd eventually burst and there'd be beans everywhere and you'd be finding them for years to come. Then there's those little square ones you had at school, what the hell were they for? I seem to remember throwing them but surely a ball could be used for that. Very Strange.
Plus of course if you tipped some beans into a carrier bag you'd have to call that a bean bag too..... or i suppose calling it a bag of beans would suffice.

Table Tennis

Table Tennis is a genious idea and much better and easier to play than normal tennis, and your bats are so big compared to the.... well court i suppose the table would be refered to as....or perhaps table. Anyway can you imgine being on a proper size tennis court with fucking huge racketts!! How much fun would that be!? Well it's almost as good with table tennis kind of, only more fast paced and frantic and hitting the ball really hard can actually win you a game instead of lose you a tennis ball. Brilliant!

Ntl

What a fucking useless waste of space they are, even if you manage to get them to come and install themselves upon in tv, phone or internet form (not an easy task, they give you about an 8 hour window and its touch and go as to whether they'll turn up anyway)
So you've got your telly channels, your phone line or your internet, problem over right?
Fuck No!! If they're not pissing up your tv watching pleasure with every kind of fault imaginable then they're cutting your internet off unexpectantly! And why must we suffer this? Because it's cheap so apparantly you can't really complain (pay peanuts and you get elephants?? or some phrase like that).
Lucky for them they're too retarded to even get my address right to send me any kind of bill which leaves me with nothing to go and shove up their arses!

Death

Death isn't as scary as getting old, although possibly the fear of getting old is some form of fear of death, the only thing i don't like about the idea of death is that the world carries on without you, you're gone but things continue to happen and that makes me feel like i'd be missing out.
As completly selfish as it sounds (and is) if i could choose my method of death i'd like to die when the world ends along with everybody else, then at least i wouldn't be missing out on anything.

Men's Magazines

Men's magazines aren't manly at all, they're all fast cars and naked women on the front of it but open it up and it's all perfumes (aftershave anyway) fashion, beauty products and moisturisers.
The semi naked women on the front is just to make it acceptable for men to be seen buying.
Women's magazines (which incidently also seem to always have women on the front) are far more filthy and perverse.

Bread

Tesco value bread is great, not only is it really cheap it also has a see through bag so when it inevitibly goes mouldy you can see it and you don't end up sticking your hand into a bag of mould. Brilliant!!